Tomorrow is your first birthday, and oh my goodness, how can you be turning one already? You, my juicy little love bug with the totally nibble-worthy cheeks and irresistible smile — you are so incredibly dear to me, my little "bonus" baby.
Just after Thanksgiving, we got out all the Christmas decorations, and as we decorated the house this year, I was thinking about last year at this same time, how heavy my belly was with the unborn promise of you. How tired I was, and how excited. How I couldn't wait to meet you, and find out if you were a boy or a girl (but secretly kind of hoping that you WERE a girl!).
And then, when I put up the small tree in my bedroom that I like to have in the front window, I remembered in a flash those first few weeks with you, how you slept in the sweet cradle next to my bed, and how I'd feed you in the middle of the night with only the soft glow of white Christmas tree bulbs lighting your precious, tiny face. How you'd wrap your fingers around one of mine and grip so tightly. The soft, sweet grunts you would make, somehow magnified in the kind of quiet you only get in a house where everyone is sleeping.
There are no words for the magic you (and your brother and sister before you) have brought to my life. You have allowed me one more chance to remember Owen's and Edie's first milestones, and to feel bittersweet agony in knowing that those early days are gone.
I adore watching you with Owen and Edie, seeing your delighted expression when they pay attention to you. But you have definitely got your own personality, too — at times imperiously bossy in the way that 1-year-olds can be and alternately sweetly loving, planting kisses on anyone who gets in your way.
You aren't walking YET, but you are very close — and your words are mostly a mumbo-jumbo of sounds and gibberish that I love listening to. You, like your sister Edie before you, just never SHUT UP. You will cruise a room, babbling higgeldy-piggeldy, pointing at things and repeating certain sounds, then squealing with delight at your own cleverness.
You also LOVE to dance, and whenever Edie puts some music on her CD player — usually Taylor Swift — your butt wiggles and you bob from side to side, little cheeky grin on your face. You are, in a word, delightful.
Happy birthday, my sweet baby girl. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Thursday, December 9, 2010