Monthly Newsletter — Month 19

Isla and Pop Pop, originally uploaded by JenSig.

Dear Isla —

What a whirlwind month we have had, little girl! A couple of weeks ago, you awoke with a fever that continued to rise throughout the day and resulted in our first (and I hope LAST) febrile seizure. Apparently, when the body's temperature changes so dramatically in such a short time, these types of seizures are common, but it was certainly the most terrifying thing I have ever been through, as a parent.

After a trip to the ER, we learned several days later that you had a UTI (after the culture had a chance to grow, in the lab), and by that point you were still spiking fevers, so your doctor recommended an overnight stay in the hospital, for a dose of IV antibiotics and a kidney ultrasound.

Never have I felt so helpless as I did in that week, when you were so sick. On the way to the ER, I held you on the gurney in the ambulance and looked at your fevered face, so slack and lethargic. You will never know the terror that gripped me in those moments, how utterly powerless I was to make it all better. I hope you never experience the knotted fist of anxiety that clutched my gut like a vice for those several days. And watching them poke and prod you in the hospital, with needles and catheters, was torture — both for you and for me. You were so scared and you kept looking at me to make it all better, and I cried nearly as much as you did.

It's a real eye-opener, that kind of an experience, and one that makes me so thankful that I have been blessed with three beautiful, healthy children. I cannot imagine how other parents, with kids who are sick a lot or even all the time, even make it through the day with that kind of pressure looming over them all the time, praying for a good day, for a good test result, for good news amid the bad.

Lucky are we, and blessed besides. You are fully recovered now, and back to your old tricks, although we've been warned of the possibility of a higher risk of febrile seizures in the future, now that you've had one. So I continue to count my blessings that, for now, all is well.

I love you so very much, my little monkey.

Love, Mama